Rikku’s Fantasy~

All writings are personal and wholly own by me unless otherwise stated. Please do not duplicated or edit without my permission.

I want to be ME~!

Filed under: Uncategorized — rebekahlevi at 7:03 am on Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Lately, this is exactly how i feel:-

I need time (time)
Love (love)
Joy (joy)
I need space
I need me
(Action!)

Say hello to the girl that I am!
You’re gonna have to see through my perspective
I need to make mistakes just to learn who I am
And I don’t wanna be so damn protected
There must be another way
Cause I believe in taking chances
But who am I to say
What a girl is to do
God, I need some answers

What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don’t worry)
How Am I supposed to know what’s right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can’t help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected

I tell ‘em what I like
What I want
What I don’t
But every time I do I stand corrected
Things that I’ve been told
I can’t believe what I hear about the world, I realize
I’m Overprotected

There must be another way
Cause I believe in taking chances
But who am I to say
What a girl is to do
God I need some answers

What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don’t worry)
How Am I supposed to know what’s right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can’t help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected

I need time (love)
I need s
pace
(This is it, this is it)

I don’t need nobody’s
Tellin me just what I wanna
What I what what what I’m gonna
Do about my destiny
I Say No, No
Nobody’s telling me just what what what I wanna do, do
I’m so fed up with people telling me to be
Someone else but me

(Action!)

What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don’t worry)
How Am I supposed to know what’s right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can’t help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected

I don’t need nobody’s
Tellin me just what I wanna
What I what what what I’m gonna
Do about my destiny
I Say No, No
Nobody’s telling me just what I wanna do, do
I’m so fed up with people telling me to be
Someone else but me

What am I to do with my life
(You will find it out don’t worry)
How Am I supposed to know what’s right?
(You just got to do it your way)
I can’t help the way I feel
But my life has been so overprotected.

-by Britney Spears: Overprotected lyrics

A decision of FAITH without doubt to change my life.

Filed under: Current Affairs — rebekahlevi at 9:55 am on Saturday, April 4, 2009

Yet again another “ages” past since my last entry.

Sometimes I feel like I usually blog when I’m unhappy. So I guess you should be saying “not-nice to see you here”? =p just kidding.

 

Ok, where was I? I’m HOME~! Finally get to make it official on my blog. I’m back in Malaysia – period. I love this place so much man! I still can’t believe I finally transported myself back to the world of above 25 degrees. After those difficult times I had in UK in the cold and so many days of dreaming to be back. I could never appreciate Malaysia more.

 

Currently I’m working in a small law firm in SS2. I live about 10-15 min walk from my work and every week I’m going to FCC Saturday night service.

 

At the moment however, I have submitted my resignation letter with one month’s notice to leave the job in end of April. I have decided to take a break for myself in May to really take to time to recuperate from being too stressed out in my current job. (See? Surely I’m somehow unhappy, tat’s y you see me here =p)

 Anyway, this phase I label it as “pre-midlife (as it is not my mid life yet) crisis” from outside point of view. For me, I feel relieved since the day I have decided to leave my job. I feel like this is the opportunity for me to re-discover myself again because right now all I know is I don’t like the nature of legal work.  

Since the day I left Malaysia for UK, I felt like I don’t know myself anymore. I look forward to reconnect with my innerself and find who God has created in me.

God have promised life abundance. I don’t expect a weathy life but at least a happy one.

I deserves it…pls dun take it away

Filed under: Uncategorized — rebekahlevi at 7:38 am on Thursday, January 24, 2008

Currently lost half of my job. Instead of full time shifts, it was reduced to part time with only 3 days work. My youngest sis came to UK with no fault of my own for 3 years to study. Resulting me being asked for money for her. I want to go Europe trip. I’ve never left UK since I came here more than a year liao. Parents no money to pay for me trip, I know, so i never dare to ask. There’s no other way but to earn it myself. Who knows just a few days ago i’m being asked for money to pay my sis’s rent.  I really really want to go Europe. Coz I know once I back m’sia…I will never come back here again. If you were me, how would you feel?

I’m just trying to get the things that I want by earning it myself. Is it too selfish to ask them not to take it away form me?

UK: Weird things happen

Filed under: Facts — rebekahlevi at 5:06 pm on Thursday, January 10, 2008

You can see smoke when you pee. Y? Coz it’s so cold here that your pee is hot enough for you to see it emit hot air. +_+"

UK is a different world…

Filed under: Some thoughts of mine~ — rebekahlevi at 9:40 am on Wednesday, January 9, 2008

I used to learn that if you have nothing to talk about, talk about the weather.

It is not true here in UK. We ALWAYS talk about the weather. Y? Coz the weather here is…wat’s the word? Amusing. it changes so fast that it still even amuses the older folks who have been livng in UK for as long as they live(50ish age group). The weather becomes a very interesting topic other than just to "fill in the silence". Imagine if I talk about the weather in Malaysia…"so hot ah!""…"ya, so hot oh!"…"hey, it’s hot just now, it still hot now oh!"…"…the weather forecast say it will be hot today, tomorrow, the day after, the day after after,…" +_+"

"Watch where you walk."

Partly true of in uk of coz, no matter where you are. I use to watch where I walk very intensely when I walk around my neighbourhood in kk. Y? coz scare of stepping on dig poo…In UK leh, hardly can find dog poo lying around. 1st, coz will get fine for "littering". Yup, YOUR DOG’s poo is YOUR litter. Most and nearly all dogs you see in UK has an ownder. Strays are caught in the hound. Malaysia scenario: "hey! your dog shit lar…", "Ya! I know ah, good for the grass right?" "…"2ndly, I FEEL where I walk. At every pavement for you to cross the road here, there’s a lot of horrible big bumps sticking out to hurt your feet. Platforms shoes should be sold here with a "CAUTION of TRIPPING" sign.

Lawyers have more pride than waiters.

Very true in Malaysia but from my very own experience here, ABSOLUTELY NOT TRUE IN UK. Clients are allowed to SCOLD, ACCUSE, SHOUT and HUMILIATE lawyers but if any of those happen to a waiter; the waiter is allowed to talk back to the customer by saying "Our staff have the right to be treated with respect and we do not tolerate this kind of behaviour.  Please LEAVE THE PREMISES." No wonder I like waitressing, I feel more like a lawyer when I can say that! ;)

im in “big wok”

Filed under: Emotions~ — rebekahlevi at 2:21 pm on Thursday, December 20, 2007

lately, after leaving the job i didn’t want as well as recovering from being sick…I really dunno what got into me. I had been doing things which…I dunno how to put it, -not myself or -dunno what i’m doing. I think something is not right with me. As a result i got into some trouble. I rarely had trouble being a person, mostly just got into trouble bcoz of my grades =( i feel so stressed…feel like wanna dig a hole and bury myself. Stress gives me headache and gastric but I dun feel much pain coz i’m too worried about being messed up. Normally tears will just destress me but seems like not anymore. I really dunno what to do besides going online and blogging. Please pray for me my friends…I miss u all in malaysia. I want to go home…

Living in a new phase of life…

Filed under: Uncategorized — rebekahlevi at 9:23 am on Friday, October 12, 2007

Updates! Currently working in my aunt’s conveyancing law firm in Birmingham UK. Working is fun coz got money but stressed, tired and boring. Have decided lately to do LPC, which after tat will do training for 2 years with minimum pay. After that I will be a qualified practicing solicitor and will be earning more, hopefully. Very grateful can work in my aunt’s firm to get some experiences. LPC is £8000 which in RM is around RM 56,000 which i’m working to earn tat myself. So far, achievement not bad lar…just graduated this July and now got work sumore gonna support myself…i’m really a big girl liao hehehe…independent leh~now living in a new phase of life…waaaay over just student life. tat’s not all. I got a STEADY bf now, which i’m utmost and absolute certain he’s PERFECT and is going to be my MR. RIGHT. so, closed doors to all guys out there! =p tat’s all for after such a long time i never update heeee…..muaks!

Fancy a gift? Buy online from Golden Star

Filed under: Uncategorized — rebekahlevi at 6:38 am on Wednesday, April 4, 2007

http://www.goldenstaruk.co.uk/

http://stores.ebay.co.uk/Digital-Station-UK

*At this time of Christmas…Letter from Jesus

Filed under: Current Affairs — rebekahlevi at 11:30 am on Monday, December 11, 2006

Dear loved ones,

As you well know, we are getting closer to my birthday. Every year there is a celebration in my honor and I think that this year the celebration will be repeated. During this time there are many people shopping for gifts, there are many radio announcements, TV commercials, and in every part of the world everyone is talking that my birthday is getting closer and closer.

It is really very nice to know, that at least once a year, some people think of me. As you know, the celebration of my birthday began many years ago. At first people seemed to understand and be thankful of all that I did for them, but in these times, no one seems to know the reason for the celebration. Family and friends get together and have a lot of fun, but they don’t know the meaning of the celebration.

I remember that last year there was a great feast in my honor. The dinner table was full of delicious foods, pastries, fruits, assorted nuts and chocolates. The decorations were exquisite and there were many, many  beautifully wrapped gifts. But, do you want to know something? I wasn’t invited. I was the guest of honor and they didn’t remember to send me an invitation. The party was for me, but when that great day came, I was left outside, they closed the door in my face …. and I wanted to be with them and share their table.

In truth, that didn’t surprise me because in the last few years all close their doors to me. Since I wasn’t invited, I decided to enter the party without making any noise. I went in and stood in a corner. They were all drinking; there were some who were drunk and telling jokes and laughing at everything. They were having a grand time. To top it all, this big fat man all dressed in red wearing a long white beard entered the room yelling Ho-Ho-Ho! He seemed drunk. He sat on the sofa and all the children ran to him, saying: "Santa Claus, Santa Claus" .. as if the party were in his honor!

At 12 Midnight all the people began to hug each other; I extended my arms waiting for someone to hug me and … do you know … no one hugged me. Suddenly they all began to share gifts. They opened them one by one with  great expectation. When all had been opened, I looked to see if, maybe, there was one for me.

What would you feel if on your birthday everybody shared gifts and you did not get one? I then understood that I was unwanted at that party and quietly left.

Every year it gets worse. People only remember to eat and drink, the gifts, the parties and nobody remembers me. I would like this Christmas that you allow me to enter into your life. I would like that you recognize the fact that almost two thousand years ago I came to this world to give my life for you, on the cross, to save you. Today, I only want that you believe this with all your heart.

I want to share something with you. As many didn’t invite me to their party, I will have my own celebration, a grandiose party that no one has ever imagined, a spectacular party.

I’m still making the final arrangements. Today I am sending out many invitations and there is an invitation for you. I want to know if you wish to attend and I will make a reservation for you and write your name with golden letters in my great guest book. Only those on the guest list will be invited to the party. Those who don’t answer the invite, will be left outside.

Be prepared because when all is ready you will be part of my great party.

See you soon.

I Love you!

Jesus

*taken from http://varughese.blogs.friendster.com/_dreamcatcher/ my dear friend Reuben’s blog. Thanks for sharing friend~

Church Hunting~!

Filed under: My Diary~ — rebekahlevi at 6:09 am on Friday, November 17, 2006

I’m soooo bored…still under house arrest for being sick. Cannot got out coz in UK its cold n cold air outside not good for coughs.

Last Sunday after church I went church hunting after attending Sunday service at Jesmond Parish Church(JPC). I wanna know where is Holy Trinity church coz hoping to go there the coming Sunday. However, church hunting when I havn’t fully recovered yet was a BIG mistake…tats y never got healed until now.

I went around asking ppl for directions to Holy Trinity but felt like as if I’ve been played a fool by them. Some people here…dunno where also wanna act smart (even the rev there! >.<”). Dunno just say dunno lah. Make me walk round n round so many times. That church itself is about 1 mile which is 1.6km from city center. I live near there so it’s about tat walking distance.

Before I went haunting, I did some research but could find the exact address of that church. Only got some vague direction and a picture from the website http://www.htjesmond.org/ there!

jes7

I asked the locals for the direction the first time and found this!

IMG025

I was like hmm….it does look something like it…but since I din bring tat picture from the website, I vaguely remember it’s something like tat also but something seems to be a little off. Then I saw it…it was something else written at the sign board. It’s Jesmond United Reformed Church(JUR). Got the below pic from http://www.jesmond-urc.org.uk/

URC

I took pic of JUR church just in case I couldn’t find Holy Trinity and wanted to compare it with the one on the website. I was thinking hhmm…maybe Holy Trinity close down liao then REFORMED into Jesmond United REFORMED Church.

IMG023 This is JUR side view.

As I was taking the pics…this “Good Samaritan” kinda old guy came to rescue me. He asked me if I’m looking for a church. I said yes, I’m looking for Holy Trinity Church. He said tat one there is JUR, not Holy Trinity. I was like -.-” obviously coz it was on the sign board. I was hoping he will tell me a long grandpa story tat tells the transformation of Holy Trinity to JUR and save my time looking for another Holy Trinity.

He took out a very old and crumpled map from his truck and showed me where he thinks Holy Trinity is. He gave me the direction of Jesmond Parish Church…where I just came from -.-” I told him it’s not but he insisted it’s there and there r 2 churches near the Jesmond Metro. (JPC is right beside Metro)

So, since he is a local n I’m an international la….i took his advice and walk back towards JPC. Sheesh….some ask me to go to the east then another ask me walk back to the west >.<”

Whatever…I walked back to JPC to ask another person again…they say it was back there where I came from. I was like ggrrrr…so I went back down tat road…then as I was crossing the road I saw tat old guycoming out of the junction in his truck >.<” he signaled me and I just shake my head indicating its not there. Yiuu…he got truck I dun have leh. It’s far u know.

Not giving up…I walk further down tat road. At one point there was this junction, I look down the end of it and say a little pointed roof (most churches roof design is sumthing like tat). I asked the people walking from tat junction and they say it is Holy Trinity! Yay!

U know in kl…when u saw KLCC’s pointed thing up there n try to walk towards it? It’s not as near as it seems to be. Thank God tat church is not too tall. Else will be like KLCC where u keep walking towards it but can never reach it. It took me about at least 10 min to walk down tat road to reach the end.

Finally I reach it…took a pic of it with satisfaction. ^-^

IMG027 yay~

Since I found the church…was so relieved and I choose to try to use the main road at the highway to go back. Thank God I used this way coz it’s much shorter but still very far la.

As I on my way home, I came across this…

IMG029

Yikes…it’s a grave yard but its soo pretty! Looks like a park!

This is the entrance…

IMG030

And it was labeled All Saints Cemetery 1836. Wow…My home church was All Saints Church…now I’ve found it’s Cemetery~!

IMG031

It was open and I think public can go in. I was tempted so…into the graveyard I went!

This is how it looks like once u walk past the gates.

IMG032

It was extremely peaceful there…the grass is green n the birds chirping. The only scary thing I was all alone in tat huge graveyard >.<”

I started to take pic n my phone runs out of battery…eeks!

IMG033 One last pic i manage to take…

I generally pay them respect and decided to go home. By tat time I walk out no more battery to take any pic of my departure…

So I got this pic from this blog (Newcatle actually has a BLOG~!) http://newcastlephotos.blogspot.com/2006/06/all-saints-cemetery.html

This is how it looks like when walking out. I think it’s very pretty~

06-05-31 All Saints Cemetery (10)

And this is the overall route I walk tat day.

map I think could b abot 4km

Kind to think of it…I’m such a weirdo…instead of visiting museums I visited the Cemetery =p

But isn’t tat what makes me special? ;)

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