Rikku’s Fantasy~

How pleasant when I see you sleep beside me.

I can just stay and stare at you breathing softly…so peaceful.

Looking at you rest while the tiredness slowly fades away…

Lying in the softness of the bed so comfortably,

You are here but I felt that u r far away dreaming.

It is the only time when you can be so silent and still.

You knew I was beside you when you fall asleep

But sadly you’ll never know when I did left.

Awaken alone in the dark without me

Only to feel my presence had disappeared.

I’m sorry I had to make you feel this way

But it wasn’t really my choice.

For reasons that are hard to be explained.

My stomach tightened when I left you lying there,

Knowing that you’ll feel lonely without me.

It became tighter…I felt the same.

Part of me was left with you

And I took some of you with me

I know I’m going to miss you deeply

Only the memories are left to be cherished.

   In college, there’s a popular trend between the guys to date a certain type of girls, namely, typical pretty girls. This group of girls has similar features for example, fair skin with long straight hair and a certain height with a certain weight. This is of course not surprising as anyone would want to choose pretty girls to date. It’s normal for people to have certain criteria on who they are dating but there’s a difference between imposing reasonable and unreasonable qualification on the people they date. Some guys tend to date girls from a particular courses they are taking, particular college club or even from some particular country. Since when did this trend started? Can taste be applied into women as it applies to food? What about good qualities of kindness, sweetness or good-heartedness in a person? How can one impose criteria such as having long straight hair with fair skin into the person that they are date? Does love not stand anymore?

   This kind of symptom can be seen more obvious in the guys in the college, but what about girls? This question I did ask myself…however I might have a list but from my previous guys who I had dated with has no similarities at all. From my experience, the ‘list’ of criteria sometimes can harm us.

   Lately, my trend of having a thing for hip hop ‘yo-yo’ guys hit me again. Because I have this on my list, I tend to easily fall for this type of guys. It affects my judgment in analyzing whether they really had a thing for me or not or even…whether if they are “decent” guys. I have a check list to know whether a guy was interested in a girl or not. Because of this certain criteria on this guy I failed to follow my check list which might lead to humiliation and disgraceful namely, showing deperation. However, I manage to turn it into just a flirt thing.

   However, after my past experiences, I plan to tear off my lists n throw it out the window. I know that it may be hard since I have been drawing up this list since dunno when. But it’s for the best I know. I can never get the guy that I’m looking for which fits perfectly into the image I had for him in my mind. I will lift this matter up to God to decide for me. Since I belonged to God, might as well I let him deal with this part of my life which I have been dominating it all along myself n failed. I believe in the future God will help me draw up a perfect image for me n then later when the Mr. Right appears, I will see that he fits perfectly.

What a hard week i had last week. Phew~! glad it was over! It was exam week and then during weekend i still not having enough sleep went to subang. I slept over at tai jia jia’s place after saturday nite sevice at FCC. She just move to a new room and thank God for that coz the last place she lived in was a mess! Though she had roomate but the apartment she lives in now is clean n pleasent, some more with an extra bed for me to sleep in! no need to "ma pou" with her in a little single bed anymore….though halfway sleeping i ended up doing that lah…haha! At sunday i went ice skating with ivy and met a new fren matthew(he’s my sis fren also). I had great fun but so tired afer that n my leg hurts but not as bad as ivy’s coz it was her first experience in skating. On Monday finally i got all my rest back by sleeping for more than 12hrs! I went to dance first dance practice for the holidays and its nice to feel back the familiar feeling of dancing after so long i stop dancing bcoz of all my school work n other proirities. Looking forward to dance more during the holidays b4 the school starts again. I hope in this two weeks God will plan great things to happen. I dun really feel like holiday mood…just kept feeling sien and i dunno wat to do. mayb too tired from all the exams n mayb my mood wear off already…i really dunno y. tat’s y i’m here writing nonsense. I pray that God will inspire me to to more important things n give me an agenda for the holidays. well…tat’s all. Happy holidays to me n to everyone~!

>.<""" eeeiiiii…..dun like this feeling at all! now is 4am, later 8am is my constitutional law paper! I just finished studying all of it but i dunna whether if i can remember. Now taking a break to post this. After this i’m gonna go back to torture my brains to remember all the limbs n cases under it! Dunno got time to sleep or not, kinda feel a bit "gan jiong" liao. Hmm…i should feel excited coz everytime i feel excited i can calm down. However, whether i can finish memorising it all or not, in this situation only 1 person can help me now. HOTLINE to God!!! O Lord, pls help me to b calm n steady n b able to think n remember what i have learnt on the spot during exam later. In Jesus name, Amen.

Now, with all my knowledge n wisdom tat i have pilled up in my brains, it is only up to the Lord. I must have FAITH n TRUST in the Lord, BELIEVING that everything will be in His mighty hands! Since anyway that he already answer my prayers for rain n wind to clear up the haze already, i must continue that this prayer of mind will be answered too. It rained just now again, harder this time compared to yesterday’s sprinkle. Even it was just sprinkle but it cleared up a lot of the haze for today. I guess that it rained more today so mayb tomolo’s haze will b gone. Praise n give thanks to the Lord for the rain just now! God is good all the time!

Oops! i gtg back to fill up n jolt my memory again liao. wanna b fully prepared by 8am. Pls God extend the time for me so i got time to rest my eyes a little b4 the exam! Amen! ~All the best to myslef~

Criminal is sooo bulky! fuh~!y do we need to be tested on so many extremely big chapters at a time??? even for contract and els we also study about 4 or more chapters…well tat’s becoz we spot questions but STILL! My criminal paper i frankly say was the worst paper compare to contract on monday and els on tuesday. it was consecutive for tat 2 papers which i think i did quite well but y do i think i did not so as well for criminal which i had a day free before the exam? however i think i didn’t do well…i can proudly say i manage to cover the whole criminal subject…ok, mayb i did left out stirct liabily WHICH CAME OUT~!!! >.<""" if compare to my classmates i come to know that they left out one or two chapters. hmmm…there are two ways to look at this. i might be not feeling that guilty coz i manage to cover all the topics but i guess they are wiser coz they can focus. well, wat to do…tat’s me. I am generalist type of person as they say Jack of all, Master of none! I slept less than an hour giving criminal all by best then after the exam i collapsed n had a great rest in the afternoon.

Just wanna share something really great that had happen. i think about a day before the exam, a good friend of mine accepted Christ. Praised God for saving my friend. It happen in msn while we were chatting around 3 or 4am. dunno y i suddenly wake up…guess i screwed my body clock already as usual during exam time. God created internet communication for the good purpose and i’ve witnessed it. Right in front of my eyes of the screen of my laptop…my friend told me he prayer "the prayer" that i constructed for him. I did pray for my friend when he came to church before he stops coming. Knowing how he felt when sitting there in FCC with a rejects look i the mist of holy people i prayed that God will at least plant a seed in him which will later grow. Praise God that it did! My prayers were answered!I believe that it will continue to grow and make my friend to be the greatest person he can ever be with Jesus in his heart.

Now…to the bad things. HAZE CRISIS~!!! The haze makes it look like as if INTI is in genting some people say, as for me…i agree with my sis: I can’t BREATH!!! Keep praying to God that it will rain or wind to clear up the haze plz everyone pray hard…it’s our oxygen at stake here! It has been always hot and smell of smoke in my room. How to study like that?!?! I remember i woke up once from a really nice sleep into a smoked room…the haze got serious and there goes my sweet feeling of slumber.

My good frend Ivy came to my room to request for my dear little hamham(my hamster pet given by a very special person)…she requested to keep hamham to play with him for a day or two since she finished her exam and havn’t so i agreed. But later after a few hours…i miss my Hamham!!! :~(

Then later deciding not to be upset about hamham not being in my sight anymore i decide to concentrate on my study. When I was studying my godsister Lydia msn me. "Prayer answered" it said. i was wondering what was she talking about and then i realised that it was raining!!! really, rain coming down from heaven. Even it didn’t really rain hard but it made my room so much cooler! Thank God and Praise Him~!

Aiks…i think i better go back to study now. Break time’s over. Adios! (Rikku is gone, be back soon!)

Hey friends~

   Sorry about that unending fairy tale i posted. It was just a little of my writing. I’m one of those ppl who have their brains talking about really weird things at random time. This was just one of those i manage to write it down. I have used to have some more but because i dun like to read my own work i like to delete it after then i read it another time. If u guys read most of my writings usually dun have ending…i’m so sorry about that really. My brain like to talk real fast to me or mayb to itself O.o" so most of the time i dun manage to record all of what he said.

   Anyway, tat’s my explanation on the stuff that i might be posting up here. Feel free to give comments and since i guess i wont b rereading it after i posted to avoid deleting any of it again >.<" need u guys to notice me if there’s anything not right about it.

That’s all from me…cheers! Friends Forever n God Bless~!

~Lots of love from the Hostess~ Muaks!

   Once upon a time…there was a girl named Gabrielle who fell in love with village boy. Both of them were very young and innocent but they were so in love with each other that they have plans to live together for the rest of their lives.

   Then one day, the King of the country passed by their village and came to recognize the girl as the long lost princess. The girl was taken away from the village to live in the castle with the King. She told the village boy “I promise I’ll be back for you”. She was brought back to the King’s castle and was crowned a Princess. It was like a dream come true to her as she can have everything she’d ever wanted; love from the King, protection and comfort. When she was living in the castle, she misses the village boy terribly. She requested to get married with him to the King. What she didn’t know then was that a there was a law that a princess must be married to a prince. She had to choose, between her true identity, family, comfort and protection or a village boy’s love.

   The Princess came up with a plan to make the village boy into a prince. She went to look for the village boy and told him to be an adopted Prince by the neighboring country’s King, at the cost of giving up his name, his identity. Once he is adopted, he will become a prince and they could get married. Surprisingly, the village boy couldn’t give up his identity…and so…she left and never returned…they were left torn apart.

   While grievingly being a Princess, Prince Richard from a distance country who came to have business arrangement with the King of the country. Richard was very similar to the village boy she’d lost in many ways. He was always there for her when she’s feeling lonely. As he was very alike to the village boy, she felt so at home that she enjoyed spending time with him so much and subsequently fell in love with him. Realizing this it terrifies her. She promised not to let herself get hurt again. As the village boy was not willing to sacrifice himself for her in the past, it’s almost certain that it will not be any difference for this Prince. She knew deep down, however if she started to love him, there will never be a “happily ever after” with this Prince as well…